History Of Marriage Customs In Africa

In the history of marriage customs in Africa, the institution has taken on at least three (3) principal forms:

• Marriage by capture
• Marriage by purchase
• Marriage by choice

Interestingly, research shows that marriage customs in other parts of world have patterns that are (or were) very similar to the history of marriage customs in Africa. Perhaps this is even more proof that we probably all do share the same roots... but I digress...

Marriage By Capture

The bride-to-be may be either kidnapped or captured prior to the official wedding ceremony or at some point during. During the wedding festivities, friends of the couple may kidnap the bride and will release her only after the groom negotiates for, and pays, her ransom. The kidnapping can be done multiple times throughout the wedding ceremony and it is up to the groom to notice when his bride goes missing.
In the other type of marriage by capture, the groom's family and friends abduct the bride. When the abduction comes to light, the groom's "posse" and the bride's "posse" meet halfway between their villages (or halfway between their family compounds if they are from the same village), where they will either engage in a mock battle OR exchange gifts and/or payment for the bride.
Such practices are seen among the Ganda/Bantu tribes of Uganda and the people of Nyanza in Kenya.

Marriage By Purchase

The theory behind this is basically self-explanatory, however there are subtle differences form tribe to tribe in Africa when it comes to the actual execution.
In Zaire, the groom brings two copper rings or an arrow to the bride and her family. Upon acceptance of the gifts the couple becomes officially betrothed. More gifts are exchanged during the actual wedding ceremony, one of which is a knife given by the groom to the bride's father. The knife signifies that the new husband is now responsible for the wife's safety and well-being.
Among the Zulu, the groom gives cattle to the bride's family and father. The theory behind the cattle is that if for any reason the marriage doesn't work out and the bride has to return to her family, the cattle serve as insurance for her so that she will be able to support herself.
The Nyakysus people of Malawi consider a marriage legitimate only after the bride's representative has received cattle from the groom. The groom still has to work on his bride's father's land for some time. If the marriage doesn't work out then the cattle can be returned and the marriage will be dissolved.

Marriage By Choice

Also known as a "love match", this one of course requires very little to no explanation.
Okay, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Get more African marriage trivia and learn about african wedding rituals too!
Now that you've learned about the history of marriage in Africa, learn how you can incorporate many of these wonderful, colorful, and very festive African wedding traditions and customs into your wedding as well. You don't have to limit the African American traditions you use in your wedding to just jumping the broom.

Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures.
- Richard J. Needham

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KWA MAHITAJI YAKO YA SWEET TREATS KWENYE BIRTHDAY,KITCHEN PARTY,SENDOFF NA HARUSI..AGGREY'A CANDIES TREATS WANAKULETEA MEZA MAALUM YA UTAMU WA PIPI ITAKAYOKUWA NA AINA MBALIMBALI ZA PIPI & CHOCOLATES KUKUCHANGAMSHA WEWE NA WAGENI WAKO SIKU IYO.BEI ZAO NI POA KABISAA.......KUWA MDADISI KWA KUJARIBU HII MEZA UONJE UTAMU WA PIPI IZI.TOA ORDER MAPEMA KUPATA MACHAGUO MAZURI YA RANGI....KARIBUNI

   

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Get the best wedding reception food ideas. A variety of wedding foods, including finger foods for wedding reception can help to make sure your guests have a satisfying culinary experience on your wedding day. The food you serve will reflect to your guests just how much thought you put into ensuring that they have just as good an experience on your wedding day as you do.
An easy way to incorporate something African into your wedding will be to use African food recipes to make some of the dishes that will be served. Listed below you are some wedding reception food ideas for appetizers, the main course, and dessert.
A good way to save some money is to have an all-out African-style cooking… Everything is made in bulk such that you can have a virtual all-you-can-eat buffet wedding reception. If budget constraints aren't a big issue for you, you can still do this and add even more items to your menu.

Wedding Reception Food Ideas

Looking for African food recipes for your wedding reception? Check out some of the following.

Jollof Rice - a staple at social functions

Jollof rice
Rice is a definite staple in the African diet and can be very easily adapted to be integrated into your wedding menu. Jollof rice is a very popular dish, particularly in West Africa. All the ingredients can be very easily procured in the U.S. and other non-African countries. Jollof rice lends itself well to being made in large portions and is known very well as a "party food". Now depending on who makes it, there are slight variations in the recipe and the steps to get from raw ingredients to finished product but in the end, the result is pretty much the same.

A pan of plantain being fried... delicious...

Plantain recipes
Another staple across the continent are plantains… Plantains make great wedding foods and they are so versatile. There is the simple and nutritious baked plantain which can be a good stand-alone dish. A fried plantain recipe is pretty simple to follow, this is good because almost any type of rice, but most especially jollof rice, is considered naked without fried plantain. Check out even more ideas for plantain recipes.

A bowl of Moroccan lamb

Meat Dishes
Then there's the meat… We do love our meat don't we? From the signature African bush meat, to a variety of the more recognizable Moroccan lamb recipe, every main dish needs some type of meat or animal flesh to compliment it, …sorry vegetarians… With a good biltong recipe, you can have and additional item for the finger foods for wedding reception.

A bowl of Mandazi... yum!

African Desserts
Last but certainly not the least, let's not forget the desserts. After a satisfying dinner you can serve some signature African desserts to your guests. From sweet to savory, your choices are vast. From sweet East African Mandazi, to Koeksisters to chin chin which makes a great finger food.
Not to mention the wedding cake! The pièce de résistance of the entire wedding reception event.

Other African Wedding Foods & Drinks

Other than the main course and desserts, there are some other traditional African wedding reception food that no wedding should be without.
Kola nuts
These are primarily used for libations. Offering kola nut to your guests is also a way of letting them know that they are welcome at your event.

Kola nuts - A staple in many African weddings

And let's not forget about the drinks and beverages...

African Rooibos Tea
Once you take a sip of this tea you'll be hooked. Serve it after the main to help keep your guest's stomachs settled and peaceful.

Moroccan Mint Tea
Sure it's all the rage these days especially at places like Starbucks and Peet's Coffee, but you can also serve this drink after dinner... in tandem with your regular coffee and tea service.

Palm Wine
An alcoholic beverage that is derived from the fruit of the palm tree, this juice-like drink is sweet and refreshing and a must-have at all African weddings. Serve it with dinner alongside you red and white wines.

A cup of cool, refreshing palm wine

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    CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO SEE THE VIDEO.
 

  1.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_FRFR7S_wg

    AND....

  2.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADrexUR-ZM4

   &

    3   .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rrpIa94JVg
    

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                             CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO VIEW THE VIDEO.

                                 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZKeGjxwu6Y

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Mapenzi ni kitu Fulani tofauti sana kwenye hii dunia na hata nje ya hii sayari. Mapenzi kwa kiasi kikubwa sana yanasababisha hata mambo mengine kwenye hii dunia yaende sawa au yaende tofauti hata kama hayahusiani na mahusiano ya mapenzi.


Vifo vingi hutokana na mapenzi, kuna magonjwa watu wanaumwa kisa mapenzi, kuna mambo watu wanayafanya si ya kawaida kisa mapenzi.


Ukiachilia mbali PESA, Mapenzi huwa yana nafasi kubwa sana kwenye kitu chochote ndani yahii dunia tunayoishi. Si masikini wala si tajiri, wote kwa pamoja wanahitaji mapenzi kutoka kwa wanaowapenda ili dunia iweze kwenda sawa kwa upande wao. Na ndio sababu hata mimi hapa ninaandika kuhusu mapenzi kwa sababu yananigusa hata mimi na hata wewe unayesoma hapa sasa.

Ukipata mpenzi anayekuelewa na kukupenda basi hata dunia iwe ya tabu vipi kwako utaiona inazunguka kama kawaida na maisha yatasonga mbele kwako kwa raha mustarehe, na hata matatizo mengine makubwa kwako huwa madogo kwa sababu tu unapenda na kupendwa kwa dhati.


Lakini ukiumizwa kwenye mapenzi au kutojaliwa kama wewe unavyojali basi hata dunia iwe na raha gani kwako utaiona chungu na hata raha ya maisha hutakuwa nayo hata kama una hela kiasi gani na hata kama una cheo kikubwa kama mfalme au hata rais. Wengine hufikia hatu ya kuteseka tu bila kuondoka kwenye mahusiano kwa kuogopa kuumizwa tena huko waendapo na wengine huondoka baadae sana wakiwa tayari wameshachelewa.


Kuna Sababu Nyingi Sana zinazoweza kusababisha mapenzi kupungua kwenye mahusiano yenu na wakati mwingine hata kusababisha kuachana. Mojawapo kati ya sababu hizo ni pamoja na hizi zifuatazo;-


1. UONGO.
Hakuna kitu kibaya kama uongo kwenye mapenzi, uongo wa aina yoyote ile si mzuri kwa wanaopendana kwa dhati kwa sababu huweza kupunguza mapenzi na uaminifu kwa kiasi kikubwa sana miongoni mwa wanaopendana hasa kama mmojawapo akigundua kuwa mwenzi wake ni muongo/anamdanganya. 


Kuna vitu vingine hata kudanganyana haileti maana wala haina tija kwa hiyo kuwa mkweli kwa mpenzi wako kwa lolote lile ni jambo jema sana kuliko kuwa unamdanganya kila siku hadi aje kugundua unamdanganya itakuwa matatizo na unaweza kusababisha kuachana.
 
2. USIRI WA KUPITILIZA.
Miongoni mwa vitu hatari pia kwenye mahusiano ni pamoja na hili la usiri wa kupitiliza. Kama una vitu moyoni na upo kwenye mapenzi/mahusiano bora kabisa si vizuri kuvificha na hasa vile vinavyohusiana na mapenzi yenu moja kwa moja. Ni kweli kuna vingine huwezi kumwambia kwa sababu havina mahusiano ya moja kwa moja na mahusiano yenu ila kuna vingine ni lazima avijue ili kutoleta ugomvi au matatizo hao baadae.



Kama kuna kitu hukuwahi kumwambia na unahisi ukimwambia atakasirika ni bora umtafutie nafasi nzuri umwambie kuliko aje kugundua mwenyewe itakuwa shida sana kukuelewa, kwa mfano mpo kwenye mahusiano mwaka wa 4 sasa na kumbe kabla ya kuwa na yeye ulishawahi kuoa/kuolewa na una watoto 2 kwa huyo mke/mume wa mwanzo ni bora umwambie kuliko kumficha, anaweza kukuelewa lakini mara nyingi ni kwa shingo upande.

3. ANA-CHEAT/ANA MTU MWINGINE.
Hakuna kitu kinauma kwenye Mapenzi kama kugundua kuwa Yule unayempenda tena kwa dhati na kumjali kwa kila kitu halafu yeye kumbe ana mtu mwingine zaidi ya wewe. 

Huwa inauma sana na mara nyingi huwa inasababisha hata wengine kuweza kuondoka kwenye mahusiano hata kama walikuwa bado wanapenda pale walipo. Hakuna binadamu anayependa kuwa ‘’option’’ kwenye mapenzi.


Kamwe Usimuumize Moyo Akupendaye Kiukweli, Usimfanye Ajutie Penzi Lako, Usimfanye Anung'unike Kwa Unayomtendea, Unaweza Kuona Ni Ujanja Lakini Ipo Siku Utahitaji Mapenzi Ya Kweli Kwa Mwingine Na Hutayapata, Laana Ya Mapenzi Ipo, Ukimuumiza Ipo Siku Nawe Utaumia Tu, Mapenzi Ya Kweli Yanawezekana Kama Ukiamua na si kwa ku-cheat.
 
4. DHARAU.
Hii pia huchangia kwa kiasi kikubwa kupunguza mapenzi kama sio kuyamaliza kabisa. Unapokuwa kwenye uhusiano jitahidi kumpenda mtu wako kwa khali yoyote na usiwe na dharau kwake au hata kwa marafiki zake au ndugu zake au hata wengineo. Hakuna mtu anayependa mtu mwenye dharau hata awe nani.


Na hii huwa mara nyingi inatokea pale mmojawapo kati ya wanaopendana akimzidi mwenzake uwezo iwe kwa cheo, pesa,uzuri au hata akili na mara nyingi sana inatokea kwa wasichana pale wanapokuwa wapo juu ya wapenzi wao kiuwezo, ila wasichana wanatakiwa kutambua kuwa Linapokuja Suala La Ndoa/Kuishi Na Mtu, Kwetu Sie Wanaume Huwa Hatuangalii Uzuri/Urembo Wa Mwanamke Kama Ndio Kigezo Pekee Cha Kufanya Tumuoe/Tuishi Na Huyo Mwanamke, Ingekuwa Hivyo Basi Wanawake Wote Warembo/Wazuri Wangekuwa Ndani Ya Ndoa Leo Hii, Hii Inamaanisha Kuwa Hata Ukiwa Mrembo/Mzuri Hutakiwi Kujisahau Ukaona Umeshafika...Utapotea ukileta dharau kwa uzuri wako au uwezo ulionao.


5. MROPOKAJI/ASIYE MSIRI.
Hakuna kitu kinachoweza kumfanya mwenza wako kukukimbia au hata kukosa uaminifu na wewe kama akija kugundua kama wewe ni mropokaji na huna ‘’kifua’’ hasa kwa yale mambo ambayo ni ya chumbani na hayakutakiwa kutoka nje. Hakuna mtu anayependa siri zake kutoka hadharani na huwa inaumiza sana kwenye mapenzi kumpa mtu siri zako then yeye anaenda kusimulia.

Mambo mnayafanya mkiwa wawili tena ndani lakini kesho unaenda mtaani unakuta kila mtu anajua mlichofanya tena wanakuhadithia kama walikuwepo vile, hiyo si kitu nzuri na itakufanya ukimbiwe na kila mpenzi unayempata.


6. TAMAA/KUKOSA UVUMILIVU.
Tamaa ni kitu kingine ambacho hufanya mahusiano mengi kukosa nguvu na mengine kuvurugika kabisa. Kama mpo kwenye mapenzi na mmeamua kupendana kwa shida na raha basi haitakiwi mmoja wenu kuwa na tama na kukosa uvumilivu hata kwa yale mambo yanayoweza kuzuilika.


Kama mpenzi wako ni wa hali Fulani na umeamua kuwa naye basi usiwe na tama kwa vitu vingine ambavyo vinaweza kukusababishia mahusiano yako kukosa nguvu na kufa kabisa. Amini kuwa ipo siku mtakuwa na vitu kama unavyotamani kwa kuongeza bidii kutafuta na kushauriana nini cha kufanya lakini si kwa kutafuta ‘’shotcut’’/njia nyepesi nyepesi zinazoweza kuku-cost hapo baadae.


7. KUKOSA MSIMAMO.
Hii kitu huwakuta wengi sana kwenye mapenzi ya siku hizi. Nadhani ni hali halisi ya dunia ya sasa inachangia pia pamoja na teknolojia tuliyonayo ya kutuwezesha kufanya yale tunayoyaona kwenye mitandao na vyombo mbali mbali vya habari.


Wapenzi wengi siku hizi wamekosa msimamo kwenye mapenzi/mahusiano yao na unakuta tu mmoja anakuwa na wapenzi zaidi ya mmoja na wanakuwa hawafahamiani huku kila mmoja akijua kuwa yeye ndo kila kitu kwa mpenzi wake.

8. KUTOJALI/KUTOKUWA NA MSAADA.
Hii pia kwa kiasi kikubwa inaumiza sana na kupelekea kushuka kwa thamani ya mapenzi miongoni mwa mahusiano mengi haa duniani. Kama kweli unampenda mpenzi wako basi msaidie anapopata matatizo na umjali na kumchukulia kama mpenzi wako na mtu wako wa karibu na sio kukimbia majukumu bila sababu zote za msingi.


Kama huwezi kujali na kusaidia basi usiingie kwenye mahusiano ni bora ukae mwenyewe kuliko kuwepo sehemu usiyotakiwa. 


9. UBAHILI.
Huna sababu yoyote ya kuwa na pesa na mpenzi wako akawa anapata tabu kama vile humuoni. Sijasema utoe pesa hata kwa mambo yasiyo na msingi lakini at least utimize majukumu yako kwa mpenzi wako kila unapohitajika.



Kuna vitu vingine hata huhitaji kuambiwa kama unatakiwa kuvishughulikia, ni wewe mwenyewe tu kuwa responsible kumhudumia mpenzi wako. Na hii huwa ina-apply sana kwa wavulana kutokana na kasumba iliyojengeka na mila tulizozikuta.


10. USHOGA/USAGAJI
Hii ipo wazi kabisaaaaaaa…. Hakuna mtu anayependa mtu wake awe Shoga kama ni mvulana au awe Msagaji kama ni msichana. Ni aibu kubwa sana kwa mpenzi wako kuwa katika makundi haya mawili na sidhani kwa akili ya kawaida kama unaweza kufurahia hiki kitu kama utakisikia au kama utakishuhudia kwa macho yako.

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